Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Insecure Writers Support Group - April

I'm back home in NM for a week - a break from caring for the now 4-month-old twin grandbabies. Hubby and I are having so much fun taking care of these two little munchkins. I love seeing what new things they discover each day - a hand, a foot, each other. One rolled over from her tummy to her back the other day - the next day the other one did it. It's hard for me to imagine them crawling, then walking, then running, and talking. I have my insecurity around being an older grandparent and just how long I'll be around to watch them grow into the beings they are meant to be, but I tell myself to enjoy each moment and stay in the present. I do want to begin writing to them, but while I'm caring for them, there's no energy for that.

Stay tuned and blessings....

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Insecure Writer's Support Group - March

Here is something I wrote when I found out my son and his wife were to have twins. I thought I'd share it for this month's posting since it's the first thing I've written in a very long time.

The grandmas I’ve known in my life are my own, of course, and those of my friends. And now I have several family members and friends who are grandmas. I’ve watched them with their grandchildren and wished to have one someday, but, frankly, I’d given up on that dream. My son is 44 and is busy building his business and there’s been no talk of babies.

Until the phone call when he asked what my hubby was doing and for him to get on the phone. The moment when we learned we were going to be grandparents. Of twins!

In that moment, we only knew about one of you - a boy. I could almost feel you in my arms as I thought about you growing inside your mommy. Your daddy was the happiest I’ve ever heard him as he told us how far along you were and when you were due to come into this world. 

I immediately wanted to make you something special, and tho’ I’m not crafty, I asked a friend to teach me to knit so i could make you a baby blanket. It has lots of beautiful colors and makes me happy thinking of wrapping you in it and holding you in my arms.

Then, a few weeks later, we learned you would have a twin sister. Ahh, the colors I chose will be great for either one of you. My dear friend, Clara, is making a blanket, too. 

The universe in which I have lived my life up until now has shifted with the news of your coming. I have come to call my new world Grandmaland. It is a land where I see babies everywhere I look and I smile, knowing in a few short months, I will be holding you both in my arms and pouring all the love I have in my soul onto you. It is a land where I think about how I will make sure I see you often and how I want everything to be perfect in your universe and knowing it won’t be. It can’t because there’s no such thing. 

What you need to know is that you are loved. Oh how you are loved. By your mommy. By your daddy. My your daddy’s mom (that’s me) and dad  and your daddy’s stepdad and your daddy’s stepmom . And your mommy’s mom  and your mommy’s dad. And all your aunts and uncles and great aunts and uncles. And cousins. And friends of your mommy’s and daddy’s and friends of your grandparents. There are so many people waiting to welcome you into the world and love you and help you on your journey once you arrive.

Grandmaland. A land in which I wait and pray and hope and hold you in the Light and Love of Spirit.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Hi from grandma land

Hello from grandma land. I'm taking care of these two precious bundles of joy for the next three months. They are just delightful, but taking care of twins is beyond anything I could have imagined. It is a two-person job for sure and my wonderful sister-in-law is here helping me until my hubby comes next week. They are almost 3 months old already and smiling bunches. The boy has rolled over from tummy to back a few times. Last night my sister-in-law and I celebrated completing our first week and went out for a lovely dinner.
Today I am baby-free till 6 pm tonight, when we'll watch the babies so the kids can go have a nice dinner. Sometimes I question my sanity in agreeing to do this for three months, but the gratification and joy far outweighs the exhaustion. Mostly it's my age that makes it difficult.

Blessings to everyone,

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Insecure Writer's Support Group - February

Well, it's been awhile since I've posted here (thank you, Alex, for reminding me). I guess because I'm not working on a writing project at the moment, this has not been top of mind for me. But there is a new writing project lurking in my subconscious and I'm struggling with whether I want to do it or not.
I've just become a grandmother to twins and I'm going to be flying back and forth to the East Coast fairly frequently.
I'm turning 69 in April and I'm not sure I want all the energy and attention that will be required to do this project to go to that project.
Partly, it's because I haven't been "successful" in the ways I hoped at writing. Yes, each book has been immensely satisfying to complete and put out in the world. But truthfully, they're not selling. And truthfully, I'm not doing anything to help them sell.
Perhaps there's a reason people retire in their sixties and seventies. We've worked hard at our careers all our lives and at some point, it becomes time to let go of "doing" and just "be."
Except I'm not happy when I'm not productive. And I'm not particularly happy when I'm not writing. Writing always has and probably always will, helps me make sense of my world. So...I'll probably peck away at this new project for that reason alone. It is another memoir...one that continues to chronicle this incredible healing journey I am on. Stay tuned....


Thursday, January 11, 2018

What's going on?

I received an email from Alex (our Ninja Captain) the other day asking if I wanted to remain a member of the Insecure Writer's Support Group since I hadn't posted anything in the last two months. I immediately said I wanted to stay because this group has been a huge source support for me in my writing journey. But then I began to think about where I am in my life and what needs my energy and attention and blogging doesn't show up anywhere on that list. What does that mean? Does that mean I should stop my blog? Does that mean I should quit ISWG?

I'm not sure...I'm not sure if I'll ever write anything again that I will choose to publish. I'm not sure what's next for me other than being in grandma land and going to take care of my grand babies for three months beginning in February.

What I am sure about is that the main priority for me right now is to get as healthy and strong as I can so I can be here for as long as I can for those babies. I'm working with weights for the first time in my life. And I can certainly feel a difference already in my physical strength.

So for now, until I figure all of this out, I'm going to remain in grandma land and just "be" and not worry about whether I'm writing or not or what to do about this blog. If I can, I'll post to ISWG, and if I can't, Alex will do what he needs to do and remove me from the list. I understand. His email was a sort of wake-up call to remind me - oh yes, there is this group I've been an intrinsic part of that I've been ignoring. What's going on?


Sunday, December 24, 2017

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!